The Elephant and The Mouse: Understanding Dementia and the Subconscious Mind

Overview

This article explores the challenges faced by individuals experiencing memory loss, the early onset of dementia and how metaphors, as used in teaching and in hypnotherapy, can be a powerful tool in aiding their understanding and ability to adapt. Through the story of an elderly couple, Mabel and George, the metaphor of an elephant and mouse help to explain memory functions, the importance of emotional connections, and practical strategies to support those with cognitive decline. Readers will gain insights as to strategies, the roles of the conscious and subconscious mind, and the significance of creating a supportive environment for loved ones dealing with memory concerns.

A client of mine has an elderly aunt who has been experiencing memory loss, confusion, heightened anxiety and emotional dysregulation. She has not been diagnosed with dementia at this point and is experiencing much disruption in her daily life as a result of her decline. For the purpose of this article, I will refer to her aunt as Mabel and her uncle (Mabel's husband) as George.

Her family have noticed Mabel's symptoms progress over the past 2 to 3 years. Thankfully, two years ago, they moved her and her husband out of their home of 61 years into an assisted living complex with a supportive and active community. They are both in their early 90s.

George has a great sense of humor, is active and a 'get it done guy', always in action joining activities and making friends. Mabel on the other hand, has always been shy and dependent upon George and is becoming more reclusive, weepy, jealous and confused. For her, navigating emotions and the realities of her memory loss has been challenging.

Starting the Conversation About Dementia

The conversation about support and her condition has been delicate and almost non-existent until recently. I was approached by my client and her family to have a conversation with their aunt. They wanted me, as a hypnotherapist who practices whole brain hypnotherapy, to help her understand what may be going on with her. It also helped that I have personally known Mabel and George for several decades. They lived on my street when I was a young girl.

I approached the conversation as if I were telling a social story, similar to those read to children to help them understand ideas and behaviours. Since social stories use metaphors, visuals and symbols, I believe they are helpful for all ages from a learning perspective as they speak to the subconscious mind. They can also be used as a tool during hypnotherapy sessions.

Using Metaphors to Explain Memory and Subconscious Mind

I chose to start our conversation by highlighting her strengths, especially her remarkable long-term memory. I knew that the power of simple, yet profound metaphors would help her understand. I also used a visual aid—a plastic brain with two parts—to help with the explanation.

Instead of labeling her memory lapses as perhaps dementia (as mentioned yet to be diagnosed), I described her strength, as an elephant (long term memory) and all it can do, it's superpowers. It is strong and capable of holding onto treasured memories. A memory that is remarkably clear for her is when she received a baby goat as a birthday gift at age six.

The other part of the brain I referred to as a mouse (short term memory). The mouse is smaller than the elephant and not as strong, and at times feels lost. It has to work very hard to focus on new tasks. The elephant tries to share information with the mouse, but it often is tired and confused. Sometimes, the elephant is sleepy and passes on information without realizing it.

Practical Strategies for Daily Life

Old routines have become more challenging to pass on from the elephant to the mouse. For several months, Mabel struggled with her medication routine. She was fainting, or unable to get out of bed because she was forgetting her medication or took too many pills. Despite George's best efforts to help, she would not listen to him.

Her family decided to use an organizational strategy, chunking, by having her medications organized in bubble packs to ensure her safety. They spoke to Mabel several months ago about this strategy and she somewhat agreed. The family went ahead and added this strategy. However, in speaking with Mabel, it was clear that she was upset about the change in routine.

Bridging the Gap with Metaphors

We reflected back on her being upset over this and I shared that perhaps (indirect suggestion) the mouse has to focus to organize pills. It may have felt lost and did not realize it received the medication routine from the elephant. Her family wanted her to be safe and help the mouse by placing a bridge between them. Bubble packs serve as a bridge. As a result, it can be easier for the mouse to do its job when medication is ready to be found in small, organized packs.

Mabel nodded and smiled. I took that as an 'emotional' response, and a door open to introduce new learning. I made suggestions, both direct and indirect, as to how we can support her, to make the mouse feel stronger and not have to work so hard.

Mabel and I came up with the idea of using the white board on the wall to help her. She could go to it when she was feeling emotional or confused, or any time she wanted more information. We would also put a picture of an elephant and mouse on the board to help prompt the action. Family would use this metaphor to remind her.

We shared her plan with her husband George. His job would be to write his plans (date, time away, location) when he left the apartment to play pool, go out for coffee or a walk. In time, more visuals, such as a visual schedule would be helpful for Mabel. At this time, we are focusing on one thing at a time.

Understanding Dementia, the Conscious and Subconscious Mind

I love using metaphors because it helps move information from our conscious mind (short term memory 48-hour storage) to our subconscious mind (long term memory). In order to understand the roles of our conscious and subconscious minds, and how they are affected by significant cognitive decline, I like to imagine the mind as a plane with two guiding systems:

The Conscious Pilot (frontal lobe) flies the plane in the present moment, handling decisions, reasoning, and short-term memory. In dementia, this pilot grows weary—sometimes misplacing instructions, losing focus, or struggling to navigate conversations and daily tasks.

The Subconscious Autopilot (limbic system, hippocampus, deeper brain) holds the plane’s flight history—habits, emotions, long-term memories. Even when the pilot falters, the autopilot often continues. For example, a person may forget what they had for lunch but can still remember how to hum a childhood song and recognize a loved one’s face.

When we begin to forget on a daily basis, becoming emotional and confused, the

pilot’s control weakens, but the autopilot can keep guiding through feelings,

music, rhythm, and long-held habits. This is why emotional connection, tone of

voice, and familiar rituals often reach people more deeply than logic or explanation.

A pilot trying to pay attention (conscious mind) while another part of his mind, represented by a plane, are on autopilot (subconscious mind).

The Impact of Dementia on Memory

In reading information shared on the website The Good Care Group, it is clear that dementia disrupts the balance of these two parts of the mind. Short-term memory and present-moment awareness are often the earliest abilities to decline.

Visuals that elicit emotions, i.e. elephant and mouse, social stories, use of a white board, and old routines that elicit an old emotional memory are supportive to feeling more balanced. Due to the strength of her long-term memory, Mabel may not recall a conversation she had earlier, but she can still feel joy upon seeing a loved one.

Next Steps to Bridging the Gap for Dementia: Communication Between the Two Minds

To improve communication between the conscious and subconscious, we can bypass the analytical conscious mind and support a connection with the subconscious. Metaphors and visuals are helpful, and sensory cues are magical. They support the subconscious mind when dementia sets in.

Upon their next visit, I encouraged the family to be with their aunt and uncle when they take medication together as it was part of Mabel's routine. The goal would be to encourage Aunt Mabel and Uncle George to take their medication together, framing the action of taking the pills with an emotion: "Remember how you always took your pills right after breakfast. With your husband, you did it together." The goal is to jog her memory and bring a feeling of warmth and familiarity into the routine despite the fact the medication is now in bubble packs.

Understanding Through Metaphors

By using the elephant and mouse metaphor, we can better understand and support those experiencing memory loss. This journey is about more than adapting routines—it’s about empowerment and celebrating the unique strengths of each individual.

If you found this article helpful, please share it with others who might benefit from these insights. Together, we create a more supportive environment for those struggling with memory loss. Leave a comment below to share your story or any tips you have for supporting loved ones with memory challenges.

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All articles by Pat Barker are based on

experiences in working with individuals or groups who have given permission to share their stories. Pat Barker is a practicing and certified Educator, Hypnotherapist and Life Coach @mothertreemind.com. Curious to learn more? Connect with Pat to create unique, empowering, and relatable visualizations/social stories tailored to support your loved one's memory and routines. Mother Tree also offers personalized coaching and hypnotherapy session to help you navigate challenges if you or a loved one is struggling with memory loss.